BP CEO TRIES TO CLEAN UP HIS MESS

Disclaimer: This is a load of fabricated nonsense, if you believe any of it you only have yourself to blame.
Article and picture by Ion Berslin

The Chief Executive of BP, Tony Hayward, has said that the amount of oil leaked into Gulf of Mexico is "tiny compared to the size of the ocean". Mr. Hayward has also said that he fears his job may be on the line simply because "We made a few little mistakes early on". Mr. Hayward, who previously held a job in the Iraqi Government in the Public Relations department, could be forgiven for thinking soley about his own job because after all, he to "wants his life back". Continuing with the motif of size, he recently said that he cares about "the small people" affected by this. Mr. Kyle Fuzzworth of the LPABP (Little People Against British Patrolium) said that while he appreciated the sentiment of Mr. Haywards statement, he thought that the symbolic rescue of a vertically challenged individual from an oilspill on a driveway by Mr. Hayward was crossing a line.
Mr Fuzzworth went on to say "This is just stupid, I mean could this man make anymore of an ass of himself in public". Moments after Mr. Fuzzworth had finished his sentence Mr. Hayward was seen spraying a child in the face with pepperspray while defending Hitlers innovative approach to racial tensions. Mr. Hayward later apologised for this, saying his remarks were merely taken out of context and that the child, who was cleaning a beach at the time, said he was hot and Mr. Hayward thought it was water he was spraying on his face.
Mr Hayward was unavailable for comment to EVENING ALL! as he was occupied with on going efforts to go yachting amid the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico.

Disclaimer: This is a load of fabricated nonsense, if you believe any of it you only have yourself to blame.

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