With the world cup fully in swing, now in the second week we finally convinced our sports editor Chancer MacSwindle to sober up and put trousers on and write an update with all the professionalism you’d expect from EVENING ALL!:
*Arrghh, bleurgghh, cough, cough* Yeah, right, here you go, I’m writing, are you satisfied? Here I am w-r-i-t-i-n-g. Now ****off and leave me alone.* EDITORS NOTE: (remove preceding comment before publication)
Wonderful World Cup Report 2010
Well the pitches have been filled with pretty-boys, each one more beautiful than the last, causing even the staunchest of lesbians to swoon slightly, or perhaps just confusing them with their great beauty, so here’s a list:
Pretty Boys of the World Cup:
Cristiano Ronaldo: (of course) Falling faster than the Irish Economy, this pretty Portuguese striker has a great talent for diving, if you were to go by Portugal’s first match it may be his only talent, that and doing his lollypops (don’t ask me, that’s what my Da calls it when he does that funny thing around the ball with his legs)
Giovani Dos Santos (Mexico): This stunning brunette has set the EVENING ALL! Offices all-a-flutter. With his bouncy bonce of bonny curls, the maiden of Mexico (well that’s my name for him, but then I’m one very confused individual, that’s why I drink, I bet the Editor told you that, did she? Did she? Huh!? I bet she told you I cross-dress too… Hum? Ah never mind ****off the lot of yiz bleurggh…ramble, ramble, mutter, mutter) anyhow, not just a pretty face this sultry striker is very handy (no not in a Thierry Henry kind of a way) on the pitch, working very hard to set up opportunities, this maiden does the work of ten men.
Hope that shuts you miserable lot up for a while, now I have to go and check my points in the Pusscat and Rory Memorial Cup Fantasy League, nothing gets between me and potential drinking money. *Bleuurrrgghhh*
http://eveningall1.blogspot.com/
Disclaimer: This is a load of fabricated nonsense, if you believe any of it you only have yourself to blame.
can I just point out that none of you're pretty boys are actually pretty,or handsome, in fact they're a miserable bunch
ReplyDeleteoh wait,with the exception of that dashing reporter
ReplyDeleteHaha! Yes he is quite a looker, isn't he, he even stopped swigging from the bottle for the photo. But come on Clare! Dos Santos, the Maiden of Mexico! He is gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteem,ok
ReplyDeleteMay I say how very disappointed I am that Chancer McSwindle failed to give any kudos at all to the true hero of the Algerian v England game, namely the little bird that perched on the Algerian net and glared the evil eye at any would be english invaders! Although it was never likely that they would get there, the little hero had it covered!!
ReplyDeletea speckled pigeon
ReplyDeleteChancer doesn't watch England matches, sorry!
ReplyDeleteMark commented on the article: 'I strongly disagree with the objectification of men in this article, it's disgraceful. This objectification clearly should only be done in the case of women, so cop on to yourselves at 'Evening All', otherwise I'll be forced to write a strongly worded letter to the editor of The Sun!'
ReplyDeleteThe Editor replies: A woman won in the end! Cristiane! Come on, fair's fair.
What kind of sports reporter does,nt watch England games?! Sure they,re the most entertaining in a vengeful, perverse way!! By the way Chancer, I,m on to you, you are really Inspector Clouseau!! Its a shame to see you fall on hard times, mon Dieu!
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing perverse about Chancer, he's a fine upstanding citizen, so he cannot partake in said perversion.
ReplyDeleteSacre Bleu I 'ave been discovered!
Chancer, you,re wanted on the fenn, I said, the fenn, for gods sake its obvious!! Ring, ring"!
ReplyDeleteem, Chancer,you remind me of Derren Brown in your photo
ReplyDelete