NEW LINE OF FRAGRANCES

Article and Picture by Joe Kerr

A collection of new fragrances was launched today which has some eyebrows raised. The designer? None other than Jeff Goldblum. Goldblum, who previously joked about his own line of fragrances, said today in his press launch  "...ah, I thought to myself, ah, you know, I know what smells good. I know, what I want to smell...like...so why not...eh, do it". The flagship scent is 'Spanish Guitar', which Goldblum said was inspired to make by an incident on the set of Jurassic Park, when Sam Neill took out a Spanish guitar and began singing an emotional song about Veal. "Eh, we were all...ya know, in shock...at how, eh, emotional he was...over this meal he had eaten,but it suddenly, WHAM, hit me. He smells great. But I thought, eh, a bit more, eh, clearly and noticed it was actually...the guitar." Other scents include, 'Beetroot Bonanza', 'BBQ Essence' and 'Ode to Oder',which apparently smells like the river Oder, when asked about this Goldblum gave a somewhat cryptic response "well, ah ha, its ah...likewater smell, but more...ah...fresh...yes" Some of the more controversial line, dubbed Got-to-be-Goldblum include 'Tang of Wet Dog', 'Bouquet of Buffalo' and the awe inspiring 'BeigeOlfactory'


Disclaimer: This is a load of fabricated nonsense, if you believe any of it you only have yourself to blame.


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